The cost of buying the traditional presents for the Twelve Days of Christmas is up by 1.6% report PNC Advisors. The three French hens posted the biggest hike, up 200%. The costs reflect changing economic conditions, as some goods become relatively more plentiful and others scarce. I might dispute some of their figures.

Gold had quite a good year as the greenback weakened, so those five rings cost more. If the law which bans fox-hunting in the UK is extended to bird-shooting as some seek, partridges will be hard to find. They only survive because sporting gamekeepers protect them from predators. The pear tree should become cheaper, though, since tree cover is increasing each year in the UK and US. If carbon dioxide is increasing, it could happen elsewhere, too.

Turtle doves and colley birds might thrive in the extra tree cover, but those French hens stand dangerously exposed to the EU’s common agricultural policy. UK swans are in greater supply thanks to an influx of rather beautiful black and white Russians ones, visiting unusually for the winter. Geese have recently made something of a comeback for people tired of turkey.

This is all well and good, but the problems come in the service industries. The fact is that drummers and pipers are skilled labour and command higher wages. Lords can be hired pretty cheaply, especially since Tony Blair created so many from Labour Party donors. Ladies who dance are difficult to outsource unless the recipient is happy with a Bollywood video of them, but the milking maids face an influx of competition from the new EU nations to the East (it is even rumoured that their visa applications may have been fast-tracked).

So, every year some of these prices are up, some down. And every year people are prepared to supply these goods and services not from benevolence, but from their regard to their own interest. Merry Christmas everyone.