Islands of contemplation are harder to find these days, as assaults of noise rise in intensity and frequency. The revving of motorbikes, the whine of lawnmowers and the shouting of mobile phone users, all intrude on what used to be opportunities for thoughts and introspection. Now comes a report (Times) that seems too good to be true.

A remote control that allows you to switch off annoying noises could be available soon. The gadget – the size of a mobile phone – will allow you to zap the sounds of bickering children, thundering traffic, pounding road diggers, barking dogs or twittering colleagues.

Using technology developed for hearing aids, you point it at the offending noise, which it filters out by generating an inverted sound wave into the buds you wear in your ears. It sounds too good to be true because it is.

I bought the first Noisebuster when it appeared 11 years ago. It proved very effective against low frequency rhythmic sounds, such as those generated by engines. Many times I worked happily in my sun-room by filtering out the sound of lawnmowers. It reduces these sounds to a low-level hum. It is not effective against high frequency sounds, which include crying babies and speech, nor against unpredictable sounds. The technology cannot analyze incoming random sounds quickly enough to put their antidote into the headphones. That said, it was worth buying it to kill low frequency noise.

The makers, aiming at a larger market than silence-lovers, went for music lovers, selling their machine as the way to enjoy music undisturbed by unwanted noise. I believe that the original Noisebuster was withdrawn in 2003, but there is an Earhugger to replace it. And some airlines offer Bose noise-reducing headphones for inflight entertainment.

This is all very well, but what I want is a unit which cuts off the outside world. Other people can then thump out bass rhythms through open car windows, motorbikes can roar past, and businessmen can run their office loudly by phone from the train to show how important they are. I will buy the unit which allows them all to do this without disturbing me at all. That way we can all be happy, except for those whose pleasure comes from imposing their noise on others.

The price? It doesn't matter.