Humour - The Adam Smith Institute Blog

The Adam Smith Institute Blog

Written by Jokesmith
Friday, 11 January 2008
How come America has to choose from just two people to run for president but 50 for Miss America? Add Comment (0)

Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith

Thursday, 10 January 2008

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.

So I said "Implants?"

She hit me.

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Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Wednesday, 09 January 2008
What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Tuesday, 08 January 2008
The young trainee was greatly impressed by the doctor's swift diagnoses as she accompanied him on his house calls. "Your trouble is too much alcohol," he told the first patient. "Give it up, and you'll be fine." At the next house, he told the patient: "Your trouble is too much chocolate. Give it up, and you'll be fine." The trainee asked the older doctor how he did it. "Simple," he replied. "I just pretend to drop my stethoscope, and as I stoop down to retrieve it, I have a look under the bed. If there are empty bottles there, I know they're drinking too much. If there are food wrappers, I know they're eating too much. You try it." So at the third house, the trainee examined the patient, dropped he stethoscope, looked under the bed, and pronounced: "Your trouble is too much religion. Give it up and you'll be fine." "How did you make such a strange diagnosis?" asked the older doctor as they left the house. "Well," said the trainee. "I dropped my stethoscope as you said. And under the bed was the parish priest!" Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Monday, 07 January 2008

There are two rules for success:

1) Don't tell all you know...

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Sunday, 06 January 2008
Those that forget the pasta are doomed to reheat it. Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Saturday, 05 January 2008
Joe the lawyer died suddenly, at the age of 45. He got to the gates of Heaven, and the angel standing there said, "We've been waiting a long time for you." "What do you mean?" he replied. "I'm only 45, in the prime of my life. Why did I have to die now?" "45? You're not 45, you're 82," replied the angel. "Wait a minute. If you think I'm 82, then you have the wrong guy. I'm only 45. I can show you my birth certificate." "Hold on. Let me go check," said the angel, and disappeared inside. After a few minutes the angel returned. "Sorry, but by our records you are 82. I checked all the hours you have billed your clients, and you have to be 82..." Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Friday, 04 January 2008

A man was found guilty of murder and sentenced to death in the electric chair. Just before his execution, the man who flips the switch asked the murderer if he had any last requests. The murderer replied with tears in his eyes.

"Yes. There is one last thing that I want. When the switch is flipped, can I hold my defence lawyer's hand?"

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Thursday, 03 January 2008

I saw a man yesterday taking gates.

I didn't say anything in case he took offence.

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Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Wednesday, 02 January 2008
A man was giving a speech at his club meeting. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours. Finally, he realized what he had done and said, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home." A voice from the back of the room replied, "There's a calendar behind you..." Add Comment (0)

Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Tuesday, 01 January 2008
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." Add Comment (0)

Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Monday, 31 December 2007
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you are stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher was surprised, but realized this was an opportune moment to help a child. "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" she asked. "No, ma'am," Johnny replied, "but I hated to see you standing there all by yourself!" Add Comment (0)

Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Sunday, 30 December 2007
Q. What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? A. The cold shoulder. Add Comment (0)

Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Saturday, 29 December 2007
One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. "You know what a foreman is?" he asked. "The one who stands around and watches the other men work?" "What's that got to do with it?" he asked. "Well, he just got jealous of me," Uncle Joe explained. "Everyone thought I was the foreman." Add Comment (0)

Joke of the day

Written by Jokesmith
Friday, 28 December 2007
Six year old Angie and her four year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church," she hissed at Joel. "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel shot back. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door?" Joel nodded. "They're hushers." Add Comment (0)

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