Humour - The Adam Smith Institute Blog

The Adam Smith Institute Blog

Written by Jokesmith
Friday, 30 November 2007
A man was lying in the cinema, was sprawled out over 3 seats. The usher came over and told him to move. The guy mumbled but didn't answer. The usher went and got the manager. The manager said to the man, "Sir, if you don't move, I'll call the police to have you removed." The guy mumbled, but didn't answer. So the manager called the police and a cop came over. The cop said to the man, "Hey mister. What's your name?" The man said,"Pete." The cop asked,"Where ya from, Pete?" He said, "The balcony." Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Thursday, 29 November 2007
Did you hear about the NHS administrator who died and went to Heaven? St Peter said they'd take him in overnight but then he could go to Hell. Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Wednesday, 28 November 2007

An Alsatian and a Dachshund were standing in the snow.

"Cold on the toes, isn't it?" Said the Alsatian.

"Stop complaining," replied the Dachshund. "I've got my own problems."

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Colin went to see his doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out his bottom.

"Hmmm" the doctor said, "that looks uncomfortable."

"I know," Colin replied, "and that's just the tip of the iceberg."

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Monday, 26 November 2007
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder. Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Sunday, 25 November 2007

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the supermarket, but couldn't find one bug enough for her family. She asked the young male assistant, "Do these Turkeys get any bigger?"

"No ma'am," he replied, "they're dead."

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Saturday, 24 November 2007
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "You can write with your other hand." Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Friday, 23 November 2007

"Waiter! What do you call this sprig of parsley in my Manhattan?"

"Central Park, sir."

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Thursday, 22 November 2007

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the confessional and said nothing.

The priest waited and waitedand waited.

The priest coughed to attract the drunk's attention, but the man still said nothing.

The priest then knocked on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally the drunk replied, "No use knocking, pal. There's no paper."

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith

Wednesday, 21 November 2007

After many years, I've finally worked out what a woman really wants in bed.

Breakfast.

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Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Tuesday, 20 November 2007
Three women are in a changing room when a man runs through wearing nothing but a bag on his head. The first woman looks and says, “Well, it’s not my husband.” The second says, “No, it isn’t.” The third woman says, “He’s not even a member of this club.” Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Monday, 19 November 2007
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying, “Damn, that was fun!” Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Sunday, 18 November 2007
Three engineering students are discussing what sort of God must have designed the human body. The first says, “God must be a mechanical engineer. Look at all the joints.” The second says, “I think God must be an electrical engineer. The nervous system has thousands of electrical connections.” The third says, “Actually, God is a civil engineer. Who else would run toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?” Add Comment (0)

Joke of the Day

Written by Jokesmith
Saturday, 17 November 2007
The teacher asked the class to write about an unusual event that had happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up and read his essay. It began, ‘Daddy fell into the well last week...’ “My Goodness!” the teacher exclaimed. “Is he alright?” “He must be,” said little Johnny. “He stopped yelling for help yesterday.” Add Comment (0)

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