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Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, ‘You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner.’

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, ‘You scumbag!’

The judge continued, ‘You are also charged with beating your daughter to death with a spanner.’

Again the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, ‘You despicable scumbag !!!’

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the court room, and said, ‘Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you
with contempt! Now what is the problem?’

Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, ‘For fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that scumbag and every time I asked to borrow a spanner, he said he didn’t have one!’