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My true love sent to me: twelve drummers drumming. It probably means the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle’s Creed.

Research conducted jointly by Gloucestershire and Chichester Universities shows that playing the drums for a rock band requires the stamina of a premiership footballer. Tests on Clem Burke, the veteran Blondie drummer, showed that 90 minutes of drumming could raise his heart rate to 190 beats a minute. An hour in concert could burn between 400 and 600 calories.

A dedicated drumming laboratory is now being built at the Gloucester campus to continue the study. Which makes you wonder why our tax-funded universities haven’t got anything better to research.