The Pin Factory Blog

Paul Anka is remembered for hit singles including Diana, and for writing the words of My Way.  His brother David, though less well known, had a distinguished career as a development economist.  He advised African countries on import substitution and tariff barriers, and was known as 'Yeru' (wise leader) by the African recipients of his help. 

Although long retired, his legacy still survives.  Even today when development economists advise on import substitution and tariff barriers, the Africans will crowd round, chanting the name of their former 'wise leader.'  "Yeru Anka!" they shout, "Yeru Anka!

It's quite simple. Iceland can keep the £3.4 billion, as long as they take back their freezing weather.

They say that 90% of America's $20 bills contain traces of cocaine. Nice to know greenbacks are still worth something, then.

The British Medical Association wants to see higher prices and advertising bans for alcohol. Meanwhile, American doctors have been praising alcohol, saying that despite the risks of over-indulging, it can stave off Alzheimer's. This doesn't strike me as good news: frankly, I don't want to remember all the stupid things I did when I was drunk.

Terrorists plan to plant bombs in tins of alphabetti spaghetti. They reckon that when one goes off, it could spell disaster.

Having seen the success of British TV's The Apprentice, France is going to do its own version. The format is exactly the same, except you're not allowed to fire anyone.

Headline from the Health and Safety Inspectors' Gazette: 'Old Lady Who Swallowed A Horse "Should Have Been Stopped Earlier"'.

Today we received this helpful explanation from Sir Owen Reddy-Cash MP, Member of Parliament for Soakingham, which gives the lie to media hyperbole about MPs' "expenses".

Dear ASI: I was disappointed by your recent blog making fun of my colleagues, Jacqui Smith and Chris Hoon (and Derek Conway and the Wintertons, etc., etc.) over their claims for second homes, barbecues, sinks, porn films, etc., etc. You people call yourselves economists but you obviously know very little about money, and nothing at all about the value and proper remuneration of public servants, such as Members of Parliament.

You cannot seriously believe that anyone would volunteer for a job that involved as much as 35 weeks' work a year, and almost four days' labour each week, for the paltry salary of £64,766. And you must know that every time the House of Commons suggests raising that figure to something more reasonable, the Daily Mail launches a campaign of smear and vilification.

Obviously public opinion should not stand in the way of what is right for our legislators. That is why, a few years ago, we came to the obviously sensible arrangement of taking our pay, not in salary, but in a form that would not excite such tabloid headlines. We calculated that MPs should be paid £305,059 in today's currency. Deducting the £64,766 awarded by the top people's pay body, that leaves £240,293 to find from this other source. Take out 40% in lieu of tax, and you get £144,176 which happens to be precisely what, on average, we claim. Not a penny more, not a penny less. We are scrupulously honest in this.

So you see, £305,059 is the proper salary for MPs, and that is exactly what we get. I can't see why you complain that we spend the money on £1,000 fireplaces or buy two washing machines in two years. Or employ our spouses and student children, for that matter. We don't ask how you spend your earnings. It's our money, and you just confuse the issue by calling it 'expenses'. It's no more than the appropriate rate for our very thankless job. Yours, etc.

Obama Introduces Americans With No Abilities Act

President Barack Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

"Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Senator Barbara Boxer - Democrat. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi - Democrat, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid - Democrat - pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S. employer of Persons of Inability.

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement warehouse stores (65%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%). Under AWNAA, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?"

"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,"said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM20plant in Flint , Michigan , due to her inability to remember rightey tightey, lefty loosey."This new law should be real good for people like me," Gertz added. With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Dick Durbin (Democrat-IL), "As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

Adam Smith remarked: "People of the same trade seldom meet together, even for merriment and diversion, but the conversation ends in a conspiracy against the public..."

Q:  How do you irritate a group of anarchists?

A:  Say, 'Take me to your leader'.