Contrary to popular belief it does not matter who wins America's coming election. Sure, there're all sorts of noises made here and there about how it's the end of civilisation. Either way, who ever gets in, dependent upon who you listen to. But we're here to tell you this isn't true.

For America needs no more governance. There just are no more things that anyone needs to decide upon. Everything is solved. This must be true or this would not be happening:

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) considers doing something that may affect Nutella lovers' consumption of the popular chocolate-hazelnut spread. It might change the recommended serving size on its jars. Alongside this, it wants to know how consumers eat the spread: on bread or crackers, on cupcakes, or straight from the jar?
According to CNN, the current recommended serving size is two tablespoons or 37 grams. This amount is equal to 200 calories. Ferrero, the maker of Nutella, thinks a smaller serving amount, which also means fewer calories, might make consumers more likely to buy a jar. For the past couple of years, the company has been petitioning FDA to do the changing.

Yes, really, the vast federal bureaucracy is polling the public to ask whether they use one or two tablespoon fulls as their typical serving of a hazelnut spread. No, really, it's here.

Bernard Levin once pointed out that he was just overjoyed to live in a country where the Advertising Standards people adjudicated upon the crispiness of crisps. For only a society which had solved all other problems would possibly divert resources to this sort of question.

And thus elections are of no more moment in the US. All important matters have been solved and we are now down to whether we should warn of 100 or 200 calories on a jar.

We're done, obviously, elections, government, all solved.