On the fourth day of Christmas...


My true love sent to me: four calling (or colly) birds, which in A Partridge in a Pear Tree are said represent the four gospels or the four evangelists, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

Well, my true love is now breaking the Animal Welfare Act 2006, which makes it illegal to sell wild animals. It also demands that animals are given a suitable environment, diet and housing.

Regulations proposed under the legislation tell pet owners not to feed their dogs chocolate or let their cats sit on the toaster. Although feeding your dog chocolate is not actually a criminal offence, it can be used in a court of law as evidence of your guilt on other charges, which can leave you open to a prison sentence of a fine of £20,000.